


Cabin Fever

by nephiliminality



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: COVID-19, Gen, Post-Canon, Short One Shot, Silly, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23452135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nephiliminality/pseuds/nephiliminality
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale are under pandemic lockdown together. I'm sure it'll all be *fine*.(NB: Written before the Lockdown video short came out, no longer TV canon compliant if that's included.)
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	Cabin Fever

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to the following prompt from [seaskystone](https://seaskystone.tumblr.com/post/613049447659798528):
> 
> "CHALLENGE: in 500 words or less, convey the sheer HORROR of Aziraphale and Crowley in quarantine in Crowley’s flat."
> 
> CW: COVID-19 pandemic - general setting and references to UK pandemic guidelines. Nobody gets sick in this story.

If there was one thing Crowley could have done without so soon after Armageddon, it was another bloody plague. Thankfully the humans knew more about how to handle them than they had in the past, but it was still shaping up to be a bad one. Half the world was under some kind of lockdown (something he was sure had never happened before) and, unexpectedly, that included him.

Every miracle they did reminded Heaven and Hell of their continued existence and invited them to display uncharacteristic flashes of inspiration, so it would have been foolish to waste miracles daily on making people forget they'd seen a Bentley. Besides, nothing was open anyway. Best to keep up appearances.

They had agreed that Crowley's flat was the better option, being larger and actually having bedrooms and a proper kitchen. They had considered the cottage, but Aziraphale insisted that going from London to the countryside to wait it out would be selfish and reckless from anyone who could actually catch or spread it, and they shouldn't encourage such behaviour. So the flat it was.

Day one went quite well. Aziraphale sulked all morning because the restaurants were closed, but Crowley found some doing delivery, which helped. They spent the afternoon on the balcony throwing olives at passers-by who weren't keeping to the rules; Aziraphale had better range but Crowley had better aim.

Day two wasn't bad either. They drank most of their wine and explored Crowley's CD collection, even finding some things from the last century that Aziraphale actually liked. Crowley tried to teach Aziraphale to use the internet, and mostly managed not to laugh at his scandalised expressions every time he stumbled upon smut.

On day three, things started getting tricky. Ethereal constitutions didn't mix well with item limits at supermarkets, and most of their usual suppliers were closed. Aziraphale argued that a trip to the bookshop for relief supplies counted as essential. Crowley doubted the police would agree, but offered to sneak back anyway. Aziraphale doubted it was possible to sneak anywhere in a vintage Bentley, especially one driven by Crowley. They ended up using a miracle - either of them would risk death for decent wine.

Over the next week things went steadily downhill. Crowley caught Aziraphale reassuring the plants. Aziraphale caught Crowley doing shopping for the old lady downstairs. Crowley caught Aziraphale, who it turned out knew perfectly well how to use the internet, ordering books from any bookshop in London still delivering. Aziraphale caught Crowley actually reading one. They nearly set the kitchen on fire trying to make crêpes. Aziraphale even tried sleeping. But the last straw had been the arrival, from Satan only knows where, of a small white rabbit, a dove, and a top hat.

It seemed, Crowley thought, trying to decide between a month-long nap and a game pie, that if they could only manage not to murder each other, they might never leave this flat again.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and constructive criticism welcome and appreciated, either here or on [Tumblr](https://nephiliminality.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
